I just had one of those not so pleasant, but probably will be funny in a couple of years moments and I felt I should record it. Jayden goes back to school next week and I thought it would be fun to do one last fun activity with mommy before going back. They always want to go play at the restaurant play areas so I let them pick the place and we ended up at Taco Maker.
It is a larger one, but since Ethan and Kayleigh are usually not adventurous enough to leave the bottom areas, I figured we were okay. Well today everyone was feeling particularly brave. Jayden lead all of them up to the top, and Ethan and Kayleigh were all over that play area like pros. After my initial panic at the thought of one of them getting stuck, I felt a wave of pride in my children and settled in to enjoy watching them have fun. And they did! It was great! They were climbing up and down all over the tunnels with no problem, and I figured they would all avoid the giant slide in the back. Eventually I heard one of them working their way down the slide. I knew it must be Jayden, since Ethan rarely attempts any slide, let alone one that is longer than a yard. But sure enough MY Ethan emerged at the bottom. I was so happy for him I could hardly contain my excitement; and he beamed with pride that he had managed it, especially first (my boys are a little too competitive lately :). That caught Kayleigh's attention and the two of them spent the next ten minutes climbing up and sliding down again. This was the best play area in the world!! Now they had been on every part of this huge jungle gym without any fear. I was thrilled...I had nothing to worry about.
It was at about this moment that Kayleigh must have reached the top of the slide for the first time... Apparently the slide looks a lot more scary from the very top, than it does from halfway up, or however far she'd gone the twenty other times she had gone up and down it. Then, as she realized she was trapped, the crying commenced. First, I sat at the bottom and tried to coax her down. She said okay several times in between fits of crying and I thought she would come around that final bend any second... After what seemed like FOREVER I figured she was stuck halfway down and sent Jayden up the slide to check her progress. She was still at the top... So I asked him to coax her down... She wasn't interested... Since she was already crying anyway, I thought maybe Jayden could grab her feet and force her down the slide. (Maybe not the smartest move, but I have to say in my defense that I am 38 weeks pregnant, measuring 42 weeks pregnant. AND I FEEL IT! I didn't think there was ANY possible way that I was going drag my huge pregnant body up the 3, 360 degree turns that this slide took to get to the top. I was desperate.)
So Jayden commenced pulling, and Kayleigh's crying turned into horrible, SHRIEKS of sheer terror. It was painful to hear, but I figured it would be over soon. Meanwhile, Ethan climbed up and wanted to help too, and then some kind of battle between he and Jayden happened and Ethan was screaming too. I was hollering at Ethan to come down and get out of the way which elicited more sad complaints from him. I think somewhere in the middle Jayden wanted to give up and I talked him into trying again (I can't be sure, it was pretty chaotic). Shortly after he started making attempt number two, he informed me that she had thrown up... LOVELY. This ended it for Jayden. I wanted him to do whatever it took to yank her down, but when I tried to get him to he started crying. "She's really strong and I don't want to throw up!" (He does have a point, he has thrown up just with the sight of it before. I guess I didn't want that to add to our problems.) I was able to talk him into going up the back way and trying to coax her down that way. I had to guilt him into it, telling him that he was her only hope of ever getting down. I felt bad afterward because after that failed he was crying too. Between sobs..."It SMELLS SO bad and I didn't want to throw up!" She didn't want to go down the little tunnel to go the back way anyway. Funny how that seemed so scary to her now, even though she had been scurrying through them with no problem before!
Next, I tried to climb the slide. I got just around the first curve before I started sliding back down... I pulled and held on the best I could, but gravity was too strong for me... So I layed there at the point I could get to and with the most soothing voice I could muster, begged her any way I could to come down. I told her I wanted a hug, and that I would catch her, and encouraged her over and over. She would longingly or pathetically say mommy, and then say okay, but would eventually say "I skeerd". We went through this for another long time...then I thought maybe if I scared her down... (again...I was desperate!) So I told her she needed to come down or I was going to have to leave. She cried a little and I begged some more, but still NOTHING. So I went over by Jayden and Ethan and waited a minute, hoping she would take the bait and come down, and trying to imagine how the rest of the afternoon was going to play out... Can you call the police to rescue a little girl from a jungle gym?? Do we just wait till Jay gets off work in two hours?? Start begging strangers to rescue my throw up covered daughter?? Do I try to climb through the miles of tubes and rope ladders to get to her from the other way? I figured if I struggled to climb the slide, there was no way I was going to make it up the maze. I would probably end up tangled in one of those rope nets or worse, break through somewhere along the way since it is definitely NOT made to hold someone of my weight. So there was but one choice...back to the slide. I hadn't taken my shoes off before, because I figured they would give me more traction than my bare feet. What the heck, bare feet it is. I got to about the same place on the slide when my knees started slipping again and nothing I could do would keep me from sliding back down! (stupid slick pregnancy pants!) I begged and coaxed a little more, before realizing I could turn around and back up the slide. Ever so slowly I inched my way up the curves, feeling the weight of gravity pulling down on my stomach. The slide bounced slightly with each move and I was certain that it would eventually collapse under my weight. I finally reached her and was slapped in the face with her horrible smell...(Jayden REALLY knew what he was talking about!) I think the throw up got even more rank during the HOUR it took me to get her down; and she had added to it by pooping her pants in a more stinky than usual way.
So we finally got to the bottom and I tried to hurry and gather up our stuff and clean up. Then I dragged my stinky daughter who was quite obviously covered in disgusting slimy throw up through the crowd of people who were trying to enjoy their food...at least they WERE before WE walked by. Then I informed the employees (as if they couldn't tell) that my daughter had thrown up all over their jungle gym...that was a pleasant end. Out at the car, I stripped her down and changed her diaper, thankful the ordeal was finally over!