Sunday, September 15, 2013

If you think kids will build your self esteem...THINK AGAIN! :)

First I should say, my kids are great.  I love all of the hugs and "I love you's", and they are just so loveable!!  They really are the best thing that ever happened to me.  And all that I will say henceforth is meant in a sarcastic, but humorous tone.  Time flies so quickly and I am trying to not take these precious moments for granted.  And there are so many times that are so joyful, it is impossible to find words to express it, only tears.  Each day has little bursts of happiness from seeing them do something for the first time, or watching them learn to be kind to someone else, their jokes or funny stories, or just getting to be with them and their one of a kind, adorable, funny, bubbly personalities. 

But sometimes there are funny experiences, that make you wonder what in the heck you are busting your booty for day in and day out.  I'm sure they will be hilarious years from now.  After I no longer have huge piles of laundry that seem to double over night. (You know the kind, you've spent two full days washing and folding clothes, and you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You think, "I only have about two batches left!!!  Hooray!!!"  Then you blink your eyes, and there you are again, knee deep in an endless pile of filthy clothing.  If you do actually get close to reaching any cleaning goal, other things happen, it's murphy's law right?  Like your son poops for some unfathomable reason in his pants in the night.  Instead of calling for help, he essentially plays in it; spreading it all over himself and his huge pile of bedding and stuffed animals. Then he sleeps like that.  I'm sure you can imagine the smell that smacked his parents in the face as they neared the room the next morning.  And their enjoyment of scrubbing dried poop off of him, his bed, and all of his things the next morning.  If that doesn't happen, there can be a run of flu that is severe enough that little ones can't get to the bathroom in time, over and over again so that every bit of bedding ends up soiled within a day.  These are of course hypothetical situations.  Those things have never REALLY happened to me.)  Of course there is also the kitchen that looks like a tornado hit it, even when the dishwasher runs enough to get worn out in a year and a half; and a whole house that looks like the scene of a natural disaster most of the time.  After I no longer have four little monsters combined with a few visiting monsters, who seem to be TRYING to break everything, or at least make sure that it stays in it's present chaotic state.

But I digress... on to my experience a couple of weeks ago.  Let me give you a little back story.  I had spent hours during a two day period trying to help Jayden get through an about me packet that was thirteen pages long.  Each page had a question that he had to think about and write a paragraph to answer it.  He is very indecisive and I spent lots of time helping him brainstorm ideas and then assuring him that which ever one he chose would be great.  Not to mention helping him spell and make sentences.  During the day in question, I made him follow me around as I worked on things so I could get things done while helping him.  So he was right there as I washed dishes and made dinner.  After dinner he was sitting on the stairs with his work on a book in his lap watching me sort laundry.  That's when he got to the page where he read the question:  "Who is the hardest working person you know?"  Well, it would be prideful and pushy for me to TELL him who to choose, so I told him that was a personal question that he needed to decide.  But the answer was obvious wasn't it??? :)  I know I have my days, but I have spent the last 8 years of my life making all of his meals, washing his clothes, potty training, and cleaning up countless messes.  Not to mention all of the birthday cakes I slaved over.  All those sleepless nights trying to get them just how he wanted.  All of the cookies baked, the activities planned and cleaned up over the years.   I increased my pace, to make this unspoken point more clear as I tossed some of his dirty under clothing into the washer. :)  One other detail I should mention, is that the question before had been what job does he hate the most.  He decided toilets must be the worst job, but then realized he had never had to clean one.  He then realized that meant that I always clean the toilets.  That conversation should have added some extra points right?!  He mused over it for a long time and then dashed my hopes with this dialogue: "This is so hard...who to choose...who to choose... not you...not dad...."  (He ended up deciding later, after he had finished writing about the person he chose, that dad might have been a good choice since he goes to work every day.)  The dialogue continues after several more moments of silence and obvious concentration.  I told him it didn't matter, just decide someone.  He said, "I'm trying to decide between Gavin's mommy and Gavin's daddy."  I can't blame him, they are great people, but did they change his diapers?!? :).  He ended up settling on Gavin's daddy.  Are you curious why?  Yeah, I was too, but he didn't keep me hanging.  During the summer, we were dropping something off at their house.  The whole family was in the back yard in their pool, except for his dad.  He was busily cleaning the kitchen.  So his decision had been based on that one moment in time!  He was working pretty fast though, it was impressive :).  And the things I do aren't really work, I completely love to scrub toilets and wipe bums.  Sweeping cheerios off the floor is like a fun game, how many cheerios will get on the floor today?  And cooking is a hobby that he loves to participate in, so that of course isn't work either.  I can tell you one thing I decided that night though.  He is definitely going to be scrubbing some toilets in the near future! ;)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Jayden's Dream

We went to Lagoon today and last night Jayden must have been really excited about it, because he had a dream.  It was really cute, and he wanted to record it.  So I thought this would be a good place.  From here on out I'll just be dictating what Jayden says.

"In my dream, we were on a roller coaster.  Courtney was scared.  When we were done Courtney found a little carousel.  It was a little carousel.  It was so little, it could only fit three ponies.  And then we all found a bigger carousel with all kinds of animals.  I found a tiger, Ethan found a giraffe, Kayleigh found a horse, Courtney found a zebra.  All of the sudden, my tiger went faster than ever.  And then all of the sudden, Kayleigh's horse was going fast as my tiger.  And then Ethan's giraffe was biting the metal on the carousel.  And then, our animals came off of the carousel.  Ethan's giraffe came off still biting the metal from the carousel.  And then, the giraffe came with the other animals.  And then my tiger scared away the people at Lagoon.  And then all our animals came out of Lagoon.  On the streets my tiger was scaring all the cars on the road.  And then we went back to Lagoon.  We got back on the carousel.  The animals came back to their regular spot and they weren't alive anymore.  The end."

Incidentally, every time Jayden rode the carousel today, he picked the tiger.  And on another subject, he was quite the flirt.  He talked to lots of teenage girls who rode next to him on the carousel, who passed him on the sky ride, as well as the girl that ran one his favorite rides, the ladybug one.  I'm not sure what he said to one particular girl, but she pointed him out to her friends when she got off the carousel :).   What a cutie!

Not to be outshined, Ethan had a moment today too.  He was riding the helicopters, and he told Jay that there was a girl riding them too, and he said hi, and she smiled at him.  Jay said it's probably because she thinks your cool.  He said back, no she thinks I'm hot!

I didn't realize till today, but I better start keeping an eye on these two players!  I had no idea I would have to start so young! :)

We all had a wonderful time and got really worn out.  Even the girls, who were NOT impressed with most of the rides we started them off with. And  though they didn't like hardly any rides all day, they found a couple of favorites.  Kayleigh tolerated the carousel, and ended up liking the boats.  She actually loved rattlesnake rapids too, once the boys talked her into going.  But the winner for both of them was the one where they get to drive a car.  Courtney went on it willingly, which was a first... and then, as they would exit, they would scream AGAIN! and run toward the entrance.  They did this until it was 9 o' clock and the ride was closing.  I can't even count how many times they rode it.

The boys were both troopers.  Ethan was a little afraid as we arrived anticipating the scariness of the rides.  But after a few rides he was sold and they both rode everything Jay threw at them all day (of course most of them were fairly tame).  Rattle snake rapids, the dragon ride by the kids area, and the ladybug and dinosaur drop were their favorites.  But they loved every one and wanted to ride them over and over.  We didn't even get to ride everything they wanted to.  We stayed till EVERY ride shut down and then reluctantly went home.  It was a great day.  Perfect weather, not too crowded, and super fun for the kids.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Nicknames and ghost stories

Yesterday I had a wonderful day with a bunch of my sisters in St George.  We went there to look at wedding dresses for Rachel (we found one by the way!).  Then we went to lunch and to a place to buy some wedding decorations.  It was such a fun day!  Great talks, and lots of laughs.
Jay was amazing, and made it a really fun day for the kids.  First, he took all four kids out all day shopping and to mcdonalds.  They called it the quest for ratchet.  (and batman too! Ethan would say).  Then they came back and told each other scary stories by the light of Ethan's light saber.  Whoever was telling the story got to hold the light saber.  Here are the highlights dictated by Jay (what he can remember a day later :)  Ethan started out:  "Once upon a time...there was a little boy who didn't have a mom or dad...or a baby.  And he lived with grandma and grandpa brown.  And the zombies broke into their house and broke all their toys.  Grandpa yelled at them, but they couldn't hear like grandpa.  And they were throwing their heads at them. " Kayleigh's story went like this: "There was monsters and skeletons, and when I saw them I said "what the heck?"  And they growled at me and I said "what the heck?"  And they started running and I said "what the heck?"  and her story pretty much followed this pattern throughout, eliciting laughter from the rest of the kids every time she would say the signature phrase.  Jayden didn't tell much of a story because he was a little scared (he's not so fond of scary story time) not to mention he wanted to play video games.  Clearly a fun day was had by all! 
While I'm writing fun kids stuff, I'm going to add some random notes that I have jotted down over the last year, but not ever transferred into here.  First is Kayleigh's Transformer name.  It was given to her about a year ago, and is frequently still used when they play different transformer games that they dream up.  Drum roll please...Baby diaper!  Yes I was surprised too.  I asked them why they kept saying baby diaper and Jayden informed me.  I don't know how he came up with it, but it has definitely stuck.  hehehehe :)
Next was from one night that Jayden was feeling reluctant to go to bed.  He said "I wish I was nocturnal"  He is such a funny, animal loving boy.  We watched a "how it's made" show where they were processing beaver pelts to be used for clothing.  I must admit I didn't like seeing it either, you could see their little faces on the pelt. :(  But Jayden, though he tried to put on a brave face, got really emotional about it.)  He is such a sensitive little cutie!
Another day, Jayden and Ethan were discussing what they wanted to be when they grow up. (Ethan: a fireman or policeman, Jayden: an astronaut and a farmer)  Kayleigh said:"I grow up, I want to be the chicken."  She also used to say disgusting in a cute way.  She would say it like "isgusting"  :)
Since I haven't taken much time to write about our baby girl, I will take a few minutes now.  Courtney is getting pretty chatty these days and has always been such a good communicator.  She is SUCH a fun baby.  I don't know if its because she might be my last, or just because she is so amusing, but I have enjoyed her so much.  (I have enjoyed ALL my little ones of course!  They each have amazing fun personalities, and all do great things!  But I digress...)  She has a personality that is so vibrant, and is VERY expressive.  This can be difficult when she is sad, because she doesn't do anything half way.  But mostly she is a happy girl, so we usually enjoy the exuberant smiles, dancing, and laughter.  Some cute courtneyisms:  Up until last week when her food was gone she would say "gah gone", now she has changed it to "ahh gone". She also says "bah" for either her sippy, or a ball.  Another favorite of mine is "gaaooo" (go). That is frequent these days :).  In fact, she loves putting on clothes or shoes, in hopes that it means she can gao   She can also say cookie almost perfectly, and a-ba-zas (applesauce).  I hope this doesn't mean she is neglected, but she often brings us things when she is hungry, like a bottle of food or a cup.  And she looks so cute! Yesterday, I left really early and Jay was woken up by someone hitting him repeatedly in the head.  It turned out to be Courtney.  She was carrying a jar of food in one arm and hitting him with the spoon in the other, whining and babbling to him.  I'm sure she was pleading the case for her hungry tummy :).  I wonder if she thinks we are really dim, because she is very careful to communicate clearly with us.  No is a very decisive shaking of the head.  Yes requires her whole body.  She rocks when she is sitting and bends her knees up and down when she is standing, combined with a big smile and sounds of excitement.  In fact, any time we give her what she wants she makes these cute little encouraging sounds.  (I LOVE IT!)  When she is trying to share a harder to understand word, she looks deeply into my eyes and seems to be carefully sounding it out.  She is something else, I tell you.  Of course, when I fail to understand her carefully constructed communication/or if I say no or take too long, things go south pretty quickly, she is good at communicating her feelings of frustration (see above ;).  But mostly we get along pretty good since her words usually are communicating a kind of food or drink and a few guesses on my part are enough to get that cute little yes dance.  When she wants something else, a book, toy or movie for instance, she also brings them to me or leads me to them and points.  She loves being a big kid, sitting on a chair, etc...and repeatedly shares her excitement about it.  Like every time she sits on a chair for instance, she makes a little noise and points down at the chair.  I cheer her on about being such a big girl and she smiles in a satisfied way.  This happens over and over again every few minutes :). 
I hope that writing brings me back to these moments with my kids.  I adore all of their little eccentricities.  I'm thankful for their patience and kindness to me.  I think they are smart, and sweet and in every way AMAZING.  I thank the Lord for these experiences.  Parenting is messy, and disorganized(in my case), full of unexpected turns, uncertainty, and a good dose of frustration sometimes.  But what a BLESSING gettting to associate closely with these priceless treasures.  I never feel able to put it into words.  Even when days are bad, my heart swells with gratitude that the Lord trusts my incapable, impatient, unkind self with this opportunity.  (Though I wish I were more capable, etc...)  But the great moments: when they do funny things that make me smile, or times when they learn something new, or moments that I get to see their innocence and I feel overwhelmed with pride at their GOOD choices and desires.  And of course all of the every day moments, holding them, watching them play, hugs, smiles...  The feelings at those times are indescribable.  SUCH joy.  Life is amazing.

Friday, September 2, 2011


This week my 10 month old got stung by a a place I would never expect to have to worry about it. Was she gallivanting in the yard, or taking a walk in the stroller you ask? Nope. Just crawling up our stairs on her way to bed. I guess that is what I get for leaving the front door open all day while the kids play. I forgot to take a picture of her poor swelled little pinkie. But she is a determined young woman. I am sad to report that her experience hasn't dimmed her fascination with the stairs at all.

Saturday, July 23, 2011


I can't sleep and I wanted to take a minute and make sure that I record along with all of my complaints, and events, just how much I LOVE my kids.  I often feel overwhelmed with all I have to do, or rather all I don't get done...  But in spite of that, every day I am thankful for the special, one of a kind kids who the Lord was kind enough to bless me with.  Each one of them sets a great example for me in their own way.  I got a horrible cough over the last week or so.  I haven't done ANYTHING, and they have been cooped up in this house for such a long time.  But they haven't complained, even though I haven't let them out the many times they have asked.  And Jayden is constantly bringing me drinks, to help me feel better.  I always find myself blocked when I want to describe for them how much they matter to me.  It's hard to put into words, because they each have these little different qualities that lift my heart.  And I can talk about the little things they say that make me smile or things I like about them...  But it is more than that.  They are SO good inside, and I can feel it, and it does make me feel unworthy to be their mom, especially when I think of how bad I am to them sometimes.  But it also makes me feel thankful for EVERY little minute I get with them, because my time with them is the most AMAZING of my life.  Especially the ones where I get to listen to what they think, or something they discovered...AMAZING.  Both watching them learn, and just learning new facets of their personality, there is nothing like it.  Even Courtney already lifts me so much.  She is such an easy smiler, and she grins so big when she sees us(jay and I) that it seems like her face might break.  It is the best feeling in the world seeing her, and my other kids smile.  Jayden is already so helpful.  I am constantly asking him to go get this or put away that, and he almost always is willing to do whatever little task I give him.  He loves to draw and always has things he wants to write to narrate his books he makes.  I love that he is creative and wants to learn.  And he has such a tender side, especially for animals.  He is so fascinated with them, and tells me constantly different things he learns.  Not to mention, adopting obscure new ones into his games and stories.  The other day he said to me, "I am hungry like a mussel, and not the kind on your body."(I think I was an adult before knew what a mussel was. :)  And when he's a badger he's not just a badger, he's a honey badger...or an arctic wolf, etc... :).  He is getting old enough to understand spiritual things, and I LOVE to talk to him when we read the scriptures.  He already reminds me when we don't read and tells me that he sleeps better and doesn't have as many nightmares when we read our scriptures.  I hope he keeps that awareness.  Ethan is also my little care taker too.  He wants to help Courtney so much.  A lot of his days are spent smiling at her, or trying to make her laugh.  I hope I never forget the look he gets on his face when he looks at her.  He looks like HE is going to burst!  And his stories make me happy too.  I wish I could remember every one of all of their stories.  They says the cutest, and funniest things.  Both boys are constantly telling me things they learn about the world.  Like, for instance, Ethan said one day "You can't throw cake on the police, or they will throw you in jail".  "So don't do that okay?  Promise you won't do that?"  Modesty is very important to him.  He told Kayleigh or Jayden one time while their shirt was off:  "Get away from me!  Your Naked!....  You don't want people around when you are naked huh?  Yeah, or I might throw up" And one more funny thing: we were watching beauty and the beast and he was SO sad at the end when the beast was hurt.  Jayden always had this reaction when he watched monster's inc and found out that boo had to leave.  So I thought this one would be easy.  I cuddled him in my arms and tried to comfort him and let him know that the beast was alright, he was just turned back into a human.  I forget he loves little monsters...whenever he pretends these days he either wants to be a skeleton with no hair, or a tron guy.  Formerly, he frequently picked zombies...I know, thanks Jay!  He replied, " I want him to be a beast only!  I don't want him to be a women!"  For those of you who are puzzled by the women comment, just watch the end of beauty and the beast as he is transformed into his handsome prince self with the flowing blonde locks, and tell me that hair doesn't look like a woman...or women in Ethan's terms.  He is always very aware of Jesus and the right things to do.  In fact, of late, the other person he likes to pretend to be is Jesus...It has caused me to wrestle with my conscience on how to deal with it.  He wants a towel or a blanket to put over his head and has even used Courtney's headbands, wrapped around the chin part of his face for a beard.  I remember when he was very little, maybe even two, he fell on the porch on his way out to the car and scraped his face.  We were on our way to church and we kind of decided to stay home, because he was bleeding and hurt.  He cried and said that Jesus wanted him at church.  And more recently, we are pretty much always late to church.  So late that rather than skulk into sacrament meeting, we just sit in the foyer.  He has begged a few times to go inside and is very distraught about not getting to.  So anyway, I don't want to discourage that kind of sensitivity.  Of course the wrestle is because I don't want him to take the Savior and what he did lightly or not teach him enough respect for Him.  But I also don't want to discourage him from making the Savior a part of his life and encourage him rather to be a skeleton or other character... Here I am on a tangent!  I'm just trying to say, I am happy that he too is sensitive to spiritual things.  My kids are SO much better than I was at such a young age...Who am I kidding, they are better than me now!  I hope they can continue to learn how to follow those good feelings.  Even Kayleigh, she loves to sing and I love to hear her sing I am a child of God.  At first I thought it was so cute how it sounded like I am a child of God, but it was a bunch of garbled syllables.  My favorite part though, was when she sang "w' gramma kine a ears!"  Instead of parents kind and dear.  Now she sings it like a pro.  She has even sang it a few times in the car at my request to calm the baby... or me!  She also loves to play pretend.  She is an AMAZING doggy.  With the panting and even an occasional doggy kiss.  And she LOVEs to pretend she's a baby and sometimes amazes me with her great courtney impressions!  She really likes to set up who's going to be what in her game.  One minute I'm assigned to be the baby and she's the mommy, the next we swap, it really keeps me on my toes :).  Another time, Kayleigh: "I a goggy (doggy), Ethan is a cow, and Jayden is a guck(duck).  And you are a....cow."  Me(trying not to take offense at the cow comment :): "what is daddy?"  "aaa...guck." "And courtney?"  "a guck."  Have you seen this girl?!?  She is so cute, as well as very smart and stubborn.  I'll be honest, she scares me!  But she is also so sweet natured.  She is constantly trying to help people feel better and often forfeits her toy or does other unselfish things to make Ethan or others happy.  In fact, my favorite thing to see in nursery is when she tries to find toys for the kids who are not so happy to be there.  What a darling girl :).  The one thing I can say about Courtney beside the fact that I love how happy she is and how remarkably patient she is.  I love her wise eyes.  They seem to see right through me.  I'm sure she will have a lot to teach me as I get to know her better.  And she is a real go getter too.  She makes me tired sometimes, but I love her determination.
 My one hope when I am old and grey and return to Heavenly Father, is that each memory I have of my kids is as clear as the day we made it.  I'm sure I am the most forgetful person I know.  And SO many are forgotten before I record them.  I always feel blocked when I am trying to think of posts like these.  I just hope that all those millions of moments are somehow being stored up there and will be waiting for me. 
If in twenty years my kids read this, Please know this.  I think you are AMAZING!  Every one of you!  I could never pick a favorite because each of you are so unique and special you are each my favorite you!  I love you more than I could ever say in words.  My one hope above all others is to see you happy in your lives and to be with you FOREVER.  EVERY day, even the ones I yell and scream, I pray a thankful prayer to Heavenly Father for giving you to me.  And I beg him to help you to learn what you need to learn in spite of my unskilled teaching, and to bless me with patience since I am SO lacking in that.   I beg him to help you to return to him and be happy.  I love you I love you I love you I LOVE YOU!  Your faithful mommy :)

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Count Your Blessings

I have been in kind of a strange place these days...  I have tons of blog posts in my queue, all unfinished...a pile of laundry at the bottom of my stairs endless pile of dishes, that though I feel I am washing constantly, remains unfinished...  I assume you get the picture, only those who have been unfortunate enough to enter my home see the enormity of my failure, and for those people...I am very sorry :).  Then you combine that with my short temper, and my general frazzled, forgetful, brain that can't organize a thought, let alone a sentence, or an action... and I have basically been feeling like I'm in a sand pit.  I claw and claw my way up the side and think, I'm doing this, I am going to get to the top! (You know in the morning when I have already gotten the kids off to school and gotten some laundry started and dishes done.  And I'm thinking, at this rate, I'll have time to clean these two rooms today AND, maybe have time to help Jayden with his homework and, read to the kids and, maybe even let them do an art project while I make dinner!  And, TODAY I'm going to have dinner ready ON TIME!  YES!!!)  Then, the next thing I know, It's four o'clock...It feels like I just blinked.  (While making meals, solving fights, feeding my constantly hungry baby, and admittedly, checking facebook)  Oh well, so much for two clean rooms, homework, and art projects...good thing he's still in kindergarten!!  I better hurry and fill the dishwasher again and start dinner, at least that will be on time tonight...  Of course that gets interrupted several times and I am at six thirty going...  Oh no!  We are eating at 7 again and my poor children are STARVING, and where in the heck are all those clean dishes, and who dumped that chocolate milk behind the table!?!?  Man, I wish I swept up those cheerios this morning before they dumped that milk!  And I never changed that batch out!!!  So basically, I claw my way up and get just high enough to see success, and that darn sand starts sliding.  Before I know it I am back at the bottom, exhausted, and NO CLOSER to the summit.  I have often pictured myself in some natural setting like this, I don't know why.  In the past I pictured myself climbing the side of the mountain with my kids in a pack on my back.  It was a hard climb, but then I could take a rest, look out, and see a beautiful view.  I don't know how I got from there to this SAND PIT!  I'm going back to the mountains, they are the place I love.
I read a little article in the friend, and got some amazing advice from my mom.  (As usual, do you know my mom?  If you do, you are a lucky person.)  I think I am getting out of this place!  I have been slowly implementing her suggestions, as well as some goals of my own.  Oddly, my physical surroundings have not changed much...  I am still WAY overweight, and I don't think I am any more organized yet... but I yelled a lot less this week!  And my mental imagery has changed some...  I picture a winding path.  Still a little dark, but mountainous, with the darkness coming from trees shading it, that has to be a good thing.  I hated the monotony of that sand pit ;).  And I feel happy.  Now I have never not felt blessed.  I have AMAZING children and a fantastic husband.  I just felt like the blight on their otherwise happy lives.  And I was starting to feel helpless to change anything.
Now, I have a long way to go, but I am trying to adopt some things that will help me do better physically.  I love having goals and feeling like you are moving toward some level of accomplishment.  But more importantly, I want to FEEL good.  And though accomplishing my goals does help, I have needed a spiritual overhaul.  In case any of you feel like me, here are the suggestions that my mom gave me for baby steps that can be done even in a crazy busy life.  I have sporadically read scriptures, or the Ensign, but in my disorganized life, I find that I do one thing one day, and different things the next and a week or several, will go by without any study.  She suggested playing primary songs all day on the radio, as one way to change the spirit in my home.  That is the only one that I have fully implemented, and it has helped A LOT!  I'll get there eventually with these other two!  Playing the scriptures on the computer in the morning while I get ready and make Jay's lunch etc...  And getting dressed and ready for the day first thing.  (Anyone who has seen me in recent months know I have not yet implemented this one!)
The other thing that has helped me was a little article I read to the kids from the friend.  It is an exerpt from a Talk given by Henry B. Eyring in the October 2007 general conference.  I haven't read the whole talk yet, I am going to include what I read in the friend here:
"Forgetting God has been a problem among His children since the world began. Think of the times of Moses, when God provided manna and in miraculous and visible ways led and protected His children. Still the prophet warned the people: “Take heed … lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen” (Deuteronomy 4:9).
Find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies. You remember that song we sometimes sing: “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done” (“Count Your Blessings,” Hymns, no. 241).
When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.
The Holy Ghost helps us see what God has done for us. I testify that God loves us and blesses us more than most of us have yet recognized. I know that is true, and it brings me joy to remember Him."

Attitude is SO much a deciding factor in our lives.  So my first goal tied to this is to change the way I think.  I think so many negative thoughts...  Mostly about myself and my many failures, but even more than that...  If I am stressed about a social situation or something negative that might happen or has happened I have these conversations in my head about what I wish I said, or even worse what I could say if the confrontation I imagine might happen actually does happen.  (Of course usually those imagined confrontations NEVER happen)  And isn't that sick?  Who spends their life thinking over and over of their stinging reply they wish they said when someone said something rude...LET IT GO!  And worse, the what if some person says something mean to them next week when a stressful situation might happen at this event or that??  Who thinks of their possible reply in a situation like that!?!  I am so weird...  So the one thing I got out of this is to STOP thinking, let alone saying bad things.  I am trying not to gossip, or even let myself think anything bad about another person, or about myself.  The primary songs have helped a TON with this.  Both to making me aware of negative thoughts and helping me purge those bad habits!  As with everything else, I have a LONG way to go.
The other goal I have tied to this is to record in my journal, positive things that have happened each week.  Or where we have been touched by the hand of God.  Since my blog is my journal, maybe I'll be actually catching up on it!
My other feel good goals beside continuing to work toward organization are to do the things I love to do.  I love to spend time with my kids.  I love to blog.  And I love to sew, and make things.  So those are some things that I am going to do.  My favorite quick sewing project of late, is fabric flowers.  So I am going to make some every week for my girls and to sell on ebay or give as gifts.  If anyone who reads this has any interest in buying flowers, let me know and I'll post the ones I make each week.  I'll probably be selling them for 3-5 bucks each.  Also, if anyone wants me to make a particular kind...  If you'll buy me five bucks worth of material and whatever centers you want for the flowers, I'll make you two flowers of whatever size and kind you want. (That is if you want a particular center.  I make soft fleece or felt centers on big flowers and I can put a button or jewel if it is a small flower.  But if you want a covered button, or other large button you'll have to buy them.)  I can post or email pics of the kinds I make if anyone has interest.  And I'll just keep the extra fabric as payment.  (That will help me work on my hobby without spending money that I don't have!)  Also, anyone who sews and wants to help me out, please give me any scraps of fabric or ribbon that you won't use.  I can make flowers with very small amts of fabric, so if you are going to throw it away anyway, I would love to have it!! :)  Life is great and we are so blessed to be here!  I am going to count my four special blessings on another post today or tomorrow, but for now, goodbye!  And thanks for listening :).

Thursday, October 14, 2010


I just had one of those not so pleasant, but probably will be funny in a couple of years moments and I felt I should record it.  Jayden goes back to school next week and I thought it would be fun to do one last fun activity with mommy before going back.  They always want to go play at the restaurant play areas so I let them pick the place and we ended up at Taco Maker.
It is a larger one, but since Ethan and Kayleigh are usually not adventurous enough to leave the bottom areas, I figured we were okay.  Well today everyone was feeling particularly brave.  Jayden lead all of them up to the top, and Ethan and Kayleigh were all over that play area like pros.  After my initial panic at the thought of one of them getting stuck, I felt a wave of pride in my children and settled in to enjoy watching them have fun.  And they did!  It was great!  They were climbing up and down all over the tunnels with no problem, and I figured they would all avoid the giant slide in the back.  Eventually I heard one of them working their way down the slide.  I knew it must be Jayden, since Ethan rarely attempts any slide, let alone one that is longer than a yard.  But sure enough MY Ethan emerged at the bottom.  I was so happy for him I could hardly contain my excitement; and he beamed with pride that he had managed it, especially first (my boys are a little too competitive lately :).  That caught Kayleigh's attention and the two of them spent the next ten minutes climbing up and sliding down again.  This was the best play area in the world!!  Now they had been on every part of this huge jungle gym without any fear.  I was thrilled...I had nothing to worry about.
It was at about this moment that Kayleigh must have reached the top of the slide for the first time...  Apparently the slide looks a lot more scary from the very top, than it does from halfway up, or however far she'd gone the twenty other times she had gone up and down it.  Then, as she realized she was trapped, the crying commenced.  First, I sat at the bottom and tried to coax her down.  She said okay several times in between fits of crying and I thought she would come around that final bend any second...  After what seemed like FOREVER I figured she was stuck halfway down and sent Jayden up the slide to check her progress.  She was still at the top...  So I asked him to coax her down...  She wasn't interested...  Since she was already crying anyway, I thought maybe Jayden could grab her feet and force her down the slide.  (Maybe not the smartest move, but I have to say in my defense that I am 38 weeks pregnant, measuring 42 weeks pregnant.  AND I FEEL IT!  I didn't think there was ANY possible way that I was going drag my huge pregnant body up the 3, 360 degree turns that this slide took to get to the top.  I was desperate.) 
So Jayden commenced pulling, and Kayleigh's crying turned into horrible, SHRIEKS of sheer terror.  It was painful to hear, but I figured it would be over soon.  Meanwhile, Ethan climbed up and wanted to help too, and then some kind of battle between he and Jayden happened and Ethan was screaming too.  I was hollering at Ethan to come down and get out of the way which elicited more sad complaints from him.  I think somewhere in the middle Jayden wanted to give up and I talked him into trying again (I can't be sure, it was pretty chaotic).  Shortly after he started making attempt number two, he informed me that she had thrown up... LOVELY.  This ended it for Jayden.  I wanted him to do whatever it took to yank her down, but when I tried to get him to he started crying.  "She's really strong and I don't want to throw up!"  (He does have a point, he has thrown up just with the sight of it before.  I guess I didn't want that to add to our problems.)  I was able to talk him into going up the back way and trying to coax her down that way.  I had to guilt him into it, telling him that he was her only hope of ever getting down.  I felt bad afterward because after that failed he was crying too.  Between sobs..."It SMELLS SO bad and I didn't want to throw up!"   She didn't want to go down the little tunnel to go the back way anyway.  Funny how that seemed so scary to her now, even though she had been scurrying through them with no problem before!
Next, I tried to climb the slide.  I got just around the first curve before I started sliding back down... I pulled and held on the best I could, but gravity was too strong for me...  So I layed there at the point I could get to and with the most soothing voice I could muster, begged her any way I could to come down.  I told her I wanted a hug, and that I would catch her, and encouraged her over and over.  She would longingly or pathetically say mommy, and then say okay, but would eventually say "I skeerd".  We went through this for another long time...then I thought maybe if I scared her down...  (again...I was desperate!)  So I told her she needed to come down or I was going to have to leave.  She cried a little and I begged some more, but still NOTHING.  So I went over by Jayden and Ethan and waited a minute, hoping she would take the bait and come down, and trying to imagine how the rest of the afternoon was going to play out...  Can you call the police to rescue a little girl from a jungle gym??  Do we just wait till Jay gets off work in two hours??  Start begging strangers to rescue my throw up covered daughter??  Do I try to climb through the miles of tubes and rope ladders to get to her from the other way?  I figured if I struggled to climb the slide, there was no way I was going to make it up the maze.  I would probably end up tangled in one of those rope nets or worse, break through somewhere along the way since it is definitely NOT made to hold someone of my weight.  So there was but one choice...back to the slide.  I hadn't taken my shoes off before, because I figured they would give me more traction than my bare feet.  What the heck, bare feet it is.  I got to about the same place on the slide when my knees started slipping again and nothing I could do would keep me from sliding back down! (stupid slick pregnancy pants!)  I begged and coaxed a little more, before realizing I could turn around and back up the slide.  Ever so slowly I inched my way up the curves, feeling the weight of gravity pulling down on my stomach.  The slide bounced slightly with each move and I was certain that it would eventually collapse under my weight.  I finally reached her and was slapped in the face with her horrible smell...(Jayden REALLY knew what he was talking about!)  I think the throw up got even more rank during the HOUR it took me to get her down; and she had added to it by pooping her pants in a more stinky than usual way.
So we finally got to the bottom and I tried to hurry and gather up our stuff and clean up.  Then I dragged my stinky daughter who was quite obviously covered in disgusting slimy throw up through the crowd of people who were trying to enjoy their least they WERE before WE walked by.  Then I informed the employees (as if they couldn't tell) that my daughter had thrown up all over their jungle gym...that was a pleasant end.  Out at the car, I stripped her down and changed her diaper, thankful the ordeal was finally over!