My Big Boy's 4th Birthday!

We had a fun weekend celebrating Jayden's birthday. I can't believe how old he's getting. He was very excited to be four and can't wait now to start his preschool in september. We spent the whole weekend celebrating: in fact, he looked puzzled yesterday morning when I told him it was his actual birthday and he told someone that he had three birthdays! I'm going to have a lot to live up to next year!! :)

It all started Friday. He and daddy went to run some errands and go pick out a birthday present. During their fun day Jayden said some funny/cute things Jay shared with me. First he embarrassed Jay at costco. We have a little person who works at our costco giving out samples. Jayden went up to him and said "You are a cute little daddy!" Then he turned Jay and said "Daddy, I don't want to be a little daddy, I want to be a big daddy." (He is obsessed with being big. He often says statements like "When I'm big I'm going to..." He often says he's going to like foods when he is big, like broccoli, but MY favorite is when he said he is going to marry me when he gets big.) The other cute thing he said totally warmed my heart. He was talking to daddy about his good guys and bad guys and he said "Being good is a choice, and I choose to be good" Is that adorable or what?

They got back a little late so Zach, Ethan, and Kayleigh started without him. He joined them before too long!

Of course, as usual I was still working on the cake as we should have been getting dinner on the table. Jayden had come in earlier in the day and said "make my cake yummy okay?" He has been talking about and looking forward to his "bumblebee car" cake for MONTHS now.

Every birthday, I spend hours planning and working on cakes. I often wonder if its worth my effort since my attempts are pretty feeble and I am certain they would look much better and not cost more just to buy one! He walked in and saw it and started jumping up and down in his excitement, saying "my bumblebee cake!" over and over. He looked like he was going to hyperventalate! :) That made ALL of my effort worth it. It wasn't finished, but I saw no point in adding anything else when he was SO happy already. Seriously, seeing his excitement through the whole party brought tears to my eyes. That is why we have kids!! I can't imagine anything that could make me more happy than seeing my kids THAT happy. In fact, as adults, I think we lose the ability to enjoy life as much as children do. But we can see life through the eyes these sweet, angelic, grateful little spirits we are blessed with, and life becomes so much more vibrant.

Sorry, I am going to go even more off on a tangent, but I want to remember this experience. Ethan loves peanut butter. The other day, I gave him peanut butter on a banana, and he just licked off all of the peanut butter. He asked for more and I gave him a little spoon full of it. He looked at that spoon and laughed in pure satisfaction. He was SO happy to get peanut butter all by itself. And Kayleigh gets the hugest smile on her face, every time we look at her. She is so happy just to have our attention! That's what I mean, they have so much gratitude that it bubbles right out of them even over the simplest thing.

So, back to the party, we had hot dogs and chili for dinner. We had an alligator pool Jayden picked out, a frog sprinkler and a bunch of inexpensive water guns. Even some of the dad's joined the water fight. Jayden clearly felt like the king and he had tons of fun playing with his friend Zach and his cousins. He LOVED all of his presents! He got four new transformers shirts! (everyone knows him so well!) As well as lots of fun new toys. Then he blew out his candles and we all ate cake. I wonder how long he will talk about his cake this year before he decides what kind he wants next year! I was actually eating one of the last pieces yesterday, and he asked me why I was eating his bumblebee cake. He doesn't like cake, so he didn't even eat any, but he seems to want to keep it forever. He is such a funny kid.

Saturday, we asked Jayden what he wanted to do, and he decided he wanted to go to KFC and to the mountains, and "grandpa's park". We drove up and down the canyon and looked at a couple of houses Jay has worked at alta on and then stopped for a little hike. He and daddy hiked on rocks and then played in a creek. Ethan wasn't so sure about the rough terrain, so he and I and Kayleigh played in the van and enjoyed the scenery. He loved looking at the canyon, both he and Jayden stared out the window the whole time we drove. The mountains are so beautiful!!

It was a really hot day saturday, so we waited until it was evening before going to the park. Kayleigh had fallen asleep so Jay took the boys to "grandpa's park". (It is a fun new park we found by Jay's dad's house, so Jayden calls it his. We just hope he doesn't tell any kids that they can't play there because it belongs to his grandpa :) Jay said it was really crowded, but they both got a turn on their favorite tractors and had lots of fun before coming home.

Yesterday, grandma made him a special birthday dinner, with his favorite, chicken nuggets!

I am so thankful for this special little man that Heavenly Father sent to me. He is a busy little boy and can be a handful!! But he amazes me with his understanding and his good desires. He loves every living thing, even little bugs. He found a potato bug one morning and was watching it crawl around as Ethan came by and stepped on it. He was SOOO distraught. He came crying and told me that Ethan killed his potato bug. He was so bothered that it died. In fact, he doesn't even like when Jay and I talk about killing flies or ants. He loves Kayleigh and gets endless joy playing with her and making her laugh. And he is very protective of Ethan too. I have threatened to leave one of them home if they don't get dressed or stop throwing a tantrum, etc... (Iknow, bad mom :) Jayden has started crying and told me I can't leave Ethan home. He totally foils my manipulation! In another instance, his cousin Koda is constantly trying to take toys from he and Ethan. On the fourth of July Koda succeeded at taking Ethan's toy and Ethan grabbed his leg trying to get it back. Jayden ran over there and yelled "that's my brother's!" He tackled Koda and pummeled him till he got the toy back.

He is also my little ham. He loves being the center of attention and making people laugh. He'll say, "I'm funny huh, mommy." And he LOVES to tease, just like his daddy. He is often so nice to his brother and has even given him the toy he is playing with just to make him happy. But he also has a little evil side and he seems to get even more joy out of making Ethan crazy. He will say things he knows will upset Ethan or jump out and try to scare him. In fact one day I could tell he had terrified Ethan jumping from around the corner. I was trying to scold him for scaring him, and he couldn't stop smiling at the thought of how funny it was. He even let out a chuckle or two, it was clear he wasn't the least bit sorry!

I have loved getting to know his sweet, funny personality and his loving spirit. He, Ethan and Kayleigh never cease to amaze me. They are the sunshine in my life.(Of course I have to include Jay too! He supports us so I can be home to enjoy them more often. Not to mention that he patiently puts up with me and helps me endlessly!!) Thank heaven for families!! And even more for the plan of happiness so we can be with our amazing families forever. LIFE IS PRICELESS.

Fun at the park

We went to the park today and had lots of fun! I will catch up on old stuff later, I wanted to share some funny things the boys said before I forget. We found a new park by grandpa Turpin's house with lots of fun things...tractors, and a cute little music wall, plus mountains for jayden and a couple of little kid swings...It's perfect!! :)
While we were there Jayden came up to jay and said "my bum says I need to go poop"... Jay took him over to his dad's and while they knocked he said: "Let me in grandpa, I need to go poop!" He wasn't home so jay drove the 1/2 mile to our house, and on the way he said "my bum says you need to hurry daddy"
He likes to speak for his body parts. Several times lately when he has asked for candy or junk food and I say no he says later "My tummy wants candy but I told him no"
It took Ethan a while to warm up to the play ground. He played in the wood chips and then asked to swing until he looked sick from it! I finally talked him into going to play with the "tractor", and the one he wanted was taken so he settled for making music for a while and playing. When he saw it clear he hurried over and played until time to go. In fact he was very distraught when it was time to go. "I waaaaaaaaannnnna dig!" I guess we've found a new favorite park for a while :) He also told daddy while they were working together "It's hot digging on the tractor" Kayleigh got to swing for a minute and then played with daddy on the grass. I love my kids so much!! They make life an endless adventure. I will be writing a TON about our adventures of the past few months soon!

Potty Training...YUCK

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... If I could pick any parenting task to pass on to someone else, it would be POTTY TRAINING!! I'll take the pregnancy soreness and sickness, labor/surgery, runny noses, whining, even the occasional bout of the flu complete with throw up...but I can think of nothing more repugnant than spending weeks or even months cleaning poop and pee off of 30 pairs of underwear. And that's if it doesn't end up anywhere else! I don't know how to convince my toddler to poop on the potty. After a week of trying my nerves are shot and we haven't really had any noteable progress.
I've tried asking him if he needs to go, taking him to the potty every half hour, threats, rewards, showers, lots of time on the toilet, begging, crying...(guess that's going to far huh?:) It seems like a battle of will, but then you wonder if they even understand what you want them to do. And if they don't, how do you teach them.. He begged to sit on the potty and asked to go potty so we thought he was ready. I don't want to ruin his self esteem and make him feel like a failure, and I don't know how to help him succeed. It is very frustrating. Not only that, but I am not a believer in pull ups (at least around the house) so if this goes on much longer, we are going to need more than a good carpet cleaning!! Blech!!
Any tips would be greatly appreciated :)

February

I guess I'll just start where I left off...Ethan's surgery. It turns out I was stressed for nothing!! They only did surgery on his one eye and he had a MUCH easier recovery. In fact, he had to look up to even see the red part of his eye. He still had a hard first day and he ripped off his patch only a few hours after coming home. (little stinker!) He was back to normal by the very next day. In fact, this pic is only a day or two later and he has found himself yet another hat :) If you look closely at his left eye there is a little swelling and redness in the bottom corner...

Kayleigh started the month with a terrible case of baby acne. It is finally clearing up, but I felt bad for the poor girl!!

We blessed her on February 15th. Our house was popping at the seams, but we had lots of fun. Most of my family came up from Nevada and spent the whole week to be at Cameron's blessing the following week.

(Grandma and Cameron)

Because the family was in town, we spent every day together. And then we spent Saturday the 21st cleaning a bunch of trash and DI stuff out of grandpa's house. Jay, Randall, and Steve hauled it all to the DI and the dump and then went and loaded a bunch of Laura's stuff and brought it back to Grandpa's. They looked ready to fall over after all of that. We were all REALLY tired by the end of the week, but it is always fun to have them here. Another fun piece of news is that we finally bought a van. As luck would have it, we got it the Saturday before Kayleigh's blessing. (Thanks to my friend Travis!!) So I was free to roam wherever mom was every day. We put 0ver 500 miles on it in the first week!! (three trips to eagle mtn and several to Sandy :) I have LOVED having it! In this case, material things can bring more happiness :)
Jayden had a pretty uneventful month except that he wanted to go outside a lot since the weather improved. He loves to ride his bike and has been cooped up a lot since Kayleigh was born. He also got to spend time with his favorite cousin Kaleb. Every day when mom was in town, he would ask if we were going to see Kaleb. He told me over and over that Kaleb is his best friend and he loves Kaleb. (Of course daddy and Zach are in best friend position too :) And he cried a lot when he had to part from Kaleb. It is so cute! It reminded me of a home video of my sister Candice crying when alexis had to leave.

He is growing up so fast and is a great helper!! He particularly likes helping Kayleigh. Both boys like to help me unload the dishwasher and put the clothes in the dryer, and sometimes they like to help with their books and their room too! I am such a lucky mommy :) Now if I can just help them to stop fighting, and get Ethan potty trained, life will be perfect!!

Here are some more February Pics...

Jayden asked me to take a picture of him and Kayleigh. They are wonderful older brothers!

Daughters of God

This is a talk by M. Russell Ballard in last may's conference. At the time it was a balm to my soul. I ran across it today while studying for a talk and remembered how much I love it. I don't ever want to forget it so I am posting it. All mothers should read it on a regular basis anyway :)

Brothers and sisters, recently my wife, Barbara, had back surgery and could not lift, twist, or bend. Consequently, I have done more lifting, twisting, and bending than ever before—and it has made me more appreciative of what women, and especially you mothers, do every day in our homes.
While women live in homes under many different circumstances—married, single, widowed, or divorced, some with children and some without—all are beloved of God, and He has a plan for His righteous daughters to receive the highest blessings of eternity.
This afternoon I want to focus my remarks primarily on mothers, particularly on young mothers.
As a young father, I learned the demanding role of motherhood. I served as a counselor and then as bishop for a period of 10 years. During that time we were blessed with six of our seven children. Barbara was often worn-out by the time I got home Sunday evening. She tried to explain what it was like to sit on the back row in sacrament meeting with our young family. Then the day came that I was released. After sitting on the stand for 10 years, I was now sitting with my family on the back row.
The ward’s singing mothers’ chorus was providing the music, and I found myself sitting alone with our six children. I have never been so busy in my whole life. I had the hand puppets going on both hands, and that wasn’t working too well. The Cheerios got away from me, and that was embarrassing. The coloring books didn’t seem to entertain as well as they should.
As I struggled with the children through the meeting, I looked up at Barbara, and she was watching me and smiling. I learned for myself to more fully appreciate what all of you dear mothers do so well and so faithfully!
A generation later, as a grandfather, I have watched the sacrifices my daughters have made in rearing their children. And now, still another generation later, I am watching with awe the pressures on my granddaughters as they guide their children in this busy and demanding world.
After observing and empathizing with three generations of mothers and thinking of my own dear mother, I surely know that there is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.
There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.
I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being. In the words of the proclamation on the family, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. Through my own four-generation experience in our family, and through discussions with mothers of young children throughout the Church, I know something of a mother’s emotions that accompany her commitment to be at home with young children. There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.
As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve. So today, let me ask and briefly answer four questions. While my answers may seem extremely simple, if the simple things are being tended to, a mother’s life can be most rewarding.
The first question: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?
First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.
Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
The second question: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?
First, show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.
Second, have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.
Third, give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!
Fourth, come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
The third question: What can children, even young children, do? Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.
You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.
The last question: What can the Church do?
There are many things the Church offers to mothers and families, but for my purpose today may I suggest that the bishopric and the ward council members be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).
I hope all of you dear sisters, married or single, never wonder if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to the leaders of the Church. We love you. We respect you and appreciate your influence in preserving the family and assisting with the growth and the spiritual vitality of the Church. Let us remember that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). The scriptures and the teachings of the prophets and apostles help all family members to prepare together now to be together through all eternity. I pray that God will continually bless the women of the Church to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God.
Now, in closing, I want to add my witness of President Monson’s prophetic call. I have known him since he was 22 and I was 21. That’s 58 years. I have watched the hand of the Lord prepare him for this day to preside over the Church as the prophet and President. And I add my testimony, along with all of the other testimonies that have been borne through this conference, of his special calling as President of the Church, and add my testimony, along with all of the others, that Jesus is the Christ and this is His Church. We are doing His work, to which I testify in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

I don't remember the particular situation that made me feel behind and incompetent. I assume I was pregnant and probably sick, and I am sure I wasn't on top of my house cleaning because I NEVER AM! I just remember that I felt as if the Lord was speaking directly to me. I felt an overwhelming surge of peace. I felt healed of my emotional pain, but also felt motivated to improve in the things I lack in. What an amazing talk!!

25 Things...

This is 25 random things about me from a tag on facebook. I just decided to copy it into my blog!


Well, since I have been tagged about 30 times, I suppose I should finally write my 25 things...Here goes...
1. I am the most paranoid person I know. I can't sleep alone in my house. I don't like going out alone at night. When I do go to the store at night I watch for anyone lurking around. Additionally, I have to admit I have occasionally run like an idiot to my car clutching my keys even in a lit parking lot. I insist that our car and house doors remain locked at all times. I was convinced I was being chased multiple times in my childhood... I could go on, but you get the idea. I always fear the possible disasters in any situations, ie: bears or forest fire while camping in the woods... someone drowning in a pool or lake...
2. I am a total homebody. I just love to be home with my husband and kids.
3. I love to cook and to eat. (this is probably not surprising to anyone :)
4. I am very forgetful. I can never find anything and even forget IMPORTANT events. I cried all night recently when I missed something that I had been looking forward to for weeks! Still I forgot it!
5. I served my mission in Mississippi.
6. I met my husband there.
7. I have a whole list of phobias:(see #1), spiders, snakes, anything crawly or slimy, bears and other large animals, heights, fire, water, newspaper, chalk boards, dirt...I know, I'm weird and I spend a lot of time avoiding stuff...
8. I am copying my sister here...I am indecisive... I can't decide which restaurant to go to or which brand or type of thing to buy. Jay and I have actually had a number of arguments over not wanting to be the one to choose where to eat out!
9. I often don't buy things because I have a hard time spending money on something unless I know I will want it forever. I buy practical things that I can see a use for, but beautification items: furniture, carpet, paint, picture frames, clothes, etc... I can never decide (see #8) which color or type I would want so I don't buy anything! If I do buy said item, I have spent a ridiculous amount of time mulling it over :)
10. I am a sucker sales and I LOVE feeling like I got a deal.
11. This also should be no surprise after reading this far, but my husband is a saint!!
12. In spite of my paranoia and indecisiveness, I am a strong and stubborn woman. If something does matter to me I DON'T back down.
13. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.(see #11)
14. I really enjoy debating ideas, at least when no one gets their feelings hurt.
15. I like to sew, and I would love to learn to do it better.
16. I am very shy and have I difficulty with social situations.
17. If I feel comfortable with you, I will talk your ear off!!
18. I love to watch movies, especially the sappy love stories.
19. I love all kinds of music. A few of my favorites are: Rascall Flatts, Linkin Park, Pat Benatar, Van Morrison, The Supreme's, Il Divo and Josh Groban...But I could go on FOREVER!
20. I love to be outside in beautiful places: I love the mountains, and I loved it in the south in the spring when all of the bushes are blooming. Everything blooms down there!!
21. I would like to learn more about gardening so I could make my yard more beautiful.
22. I love to play sports, but I rarely do because I am terrible at them. I only have fun when I feel like nobody minds that I am terrible :)
23. I love the smell of coffee. It reminds me of my childhood cabin trips. I walk down the coffe aisle in the store just to breathe it in!
24. I wish I could be a better mom. I yell too much and I don't think I discipline correctly.
25. I love singing hymns. They remind me of my grandma Jensen and my mom. They make me feel good and I would love to memorize more of them. :)
I don't know how to tag people, so if you haven't already written one of these, I tag you!!

Ethan's at Primary's Today...

My sweet little Ethan should be going into surgery right now. It is killing me not being there! Its not like I can make it better for him, but at least I get to see what he is doing and not be away from him so long. I wish that I had enough faith to just take life as it comes without exhausting myself with worry. It's just an eye surgery and the same kind he had a year ago. Not only that, but if the unthinkable happens, I know that everything is part of the plan of our Heavenly Father and that all works to our eternal good. In spite of that, I spend so much time torturing myself with all of the tragic possibilities and fearing the worst before it even happens. How do you get to the point where you have the faith not to do that?

I guess I am just selfish. I want to control everything to keep bad things from happening. I just love my family so much I don't think I could bear losing them. And I feel like I am so blessed and haven't really had to deal with any MAJOR trials. So I guess I feel it is only a matter of time before something terrible has to happen. (What a terrible attitude huh?) The irony is that I suffer so much because of my fears without any bad things happening! And my anxiety can't stop anything from happening anyway!! The other reason it doesn't make sense to me is that the Lord has NEVER left me alone.

I thank him every day for the path he has lead me on. My life never really has gone as I planned, and yet I wouldn't change ONE THING. He has lead me into greater joy than I could have ever imagined for myself over and over again. He has blessed me so endlessly. He has proven to me so many times that he knows better than I what will make me happy. He has protected my children so many times even that I have witnessed. So in my mind it doesn't make sense. Why can't I just say "Lord, I trust you to completely, my life is in your hands" And then truly let go and enjoy the ride. It should be so easy. Why do I waste my time and energy agonizing over everything!

I hope some day I will be able to say that I don't worry, because I have perfect trust in my Father in Heaven. (I hope it is before I land myself in a mental institution :). I am truly thankful for my testimony of the gospel. I don't know how I could be happy without it. I am thankful for the perfect plan of our Father that helps us to grow and learn here on earth. I am thankful for the knowledge of eternal families. That the wonderful relationships with those we love SO much never have to end. I am thankful to know that our Lord and Savior knows our every pain and trial, even those we make for ourselves. I am thankful to know that he cares. I am thankful to Him for his sacrifice to make our joy possible. And I do feel so much joy. I feel worried today, but my life is so blessed. I have three of the most amazing children who make me laugh, and cry, and fill my life with endless happiness. My husband is the greatest man I have ever known. He gets better and better as the years go by. He is such a support and SOOO patient with me :). He is the perfect husband and father. We all wait impatiently for the times he is home. I cannot imagine living without him.

It has been an hour! Now, Ethan should almost be out of his surgery. I only have a few more hours of unnecessary worry before I can hold him!