Jay and Jayden rode the tracks to SL yesterday for some fun father son time. (Ethan wanted to go to the mall with me instead. He was supposed to go with Jay, but insisted "I need to go in the VAN!" Jay pulled up beside the van while I gathered a couple of things and Ethan screamed at him to "Drive!" We had lots of fun looking at the stores. He loved the dogs at build a bear and was so happy when I bought him a Sweet's sucker.)
Jayden picked the activity for he and Jay, he wanted to ride on the bus and the train. Daddy compromised by taking him on the tracks up to temple square. On their way home they were trying to find a quizno's after finding one closed down, and this conversation ensued...
Jayden: Grrrr grumble GRRR!
Jayden:I didn't say anything, did you say something tummy?
Jayden (In Low growling voice): I want chicken nuggets and pop shake!
Jayden looking at his tummy: I think daddy wants a ham sandwich
Jayden(growly voice again): I want chicken nuggets and pop shake!
Jayden looking down at his tummy again: I don't know, I'll have to ask daddy...
Jay: So you want chicken nuggets and pop shake?
Jayden: No, but that's what my tummy wants.
Then at the park later that night he was flirting with and hugging an eight year old little girl named Yolanda. When it was time to go he said "bye Ca Ca" She looked at him funny and Jay said "that's not very nice, that means poo poo" His face was immediately distraught and his eyes filled with tears. He gave her a hug and cried and said he was sorry over and over. Later they were relating the story to me and Jayden said: "I was so sad, it broke my heart" (He's such a darling boy!)
Another couple of stories from recently is one day I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said: "Ummmm....maybe a firefighter.... or a farmer. He also said he was going to marry me and Ethan would be his kid... (cute boy) He also said to Jay "some dogs are bad and some dogs are good" "Some people have bad jokes, I have good jokes"
One final Jayden story: One day I was making dinner and I had just put the raw ground beef into a pan. Jayden: "That looks disgusting! Is that poo?" Me: "No, It's hamburger" Jayden: "MMM...I love hamburger!"
Ethan is still our little hat loving man and is so sweet! He always gives big hugs and says "I love you, daddy!" (Jay shared this one, he said Ethan will get up in the morning and lay on his tummy and say that) He is so fun in the morning. He almost always gets up before Jayden, and he is so happy to spend those few minutes alone with us. He gets a big smile on his face and runs up to give me a hug. He is getting so good at walking and running and his run is cute! He usually runs a little crooked, and unfortunately he has knocked his head several times because of it, running into things. He is very brave though, he just says matter of factly that he's got an owie. One of his owie's was my fault because I was walking in to church holding his hand and he trusted me to lead him on a clear path. (not a good idea...) I let him walk head on into a van. Poor kid just backed up and kept on walking.
He speaks so well!! He is speaking so clear and in long sentences and says the cutest things! The other day I was driving home from Laura's and amazingly he was awake, and Jayden was asleep. I came home and told Jay, but I feel so bad I didn't write down the particulars! Now I can't remember the exact things he said. He talked to me for half the ride home, about monsters, and what they say and do...it was so adorable.
A funny hat story is that he still loves a knight hat he got for his birthday last year. He always pulls the mask over his face and the bigger he gets the tighter it gets. He got a scrape on his chin somehow and EVERY DAY the scab got ripped off and it bled everywhere. I was getting so frustrated, because I assumed he just wouldn't stop picking at it. It seemed like it would never heal and I was worried about it getting infected or scarring. I finally found the culprit. He put that hat on in front of me and I watched it rip the scab off. I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it before! Well, I put it up for about a week( MUCH to his displeasure) and that silly scrape finally healed!!
One more about Ethan...He fell off Jayden's bike a few weeks ago and when Jay got outside he panicked for a minute because Ethan was laying face down under the bike not moving. When Jay said his name he looked up and smiled and said " Daddy, I fall"like it was an exciting thing :) Jay ran and grabbed the camera before he rescued him and Ethan said "Cheese" for the picture. What a trooper huh? He also said "It fell on me and I can't get up"
He loves sword fights with daddy. Last week during one, he said "I get you daddy!" Today he told me that "daddy likes the blue sword" A couple of my favorite things he says are "that's cool" and "that's Scary!"
Kayleigh just can't get big fast enough for her liking. She spends most of her time panting with the effort to move to this or that new thing. And she never gives up! It can be tiring to hold her because she will wiggle endlessly or try to climb you to get where she wants to go. She has these amazing deep eyes. My friend said they "suck you in and you can't help staring at her and smiling". I totally agree of course :) Well, they are always locked in on some goal that she is determined to get to, until they turn and lock onto another one, and she struggles in another direction. She is always curious what's going on and seems to usually want to be in the middle of it! Also, she is such a joyful baby! She smiles so easily, and so big, she scrunches up her whole face. She loves most anyone who will give her attention. She especially loves her brothers! Up until recently she mostly loved Jayden and was afraid of Ethan, but lately, he can get her to smile and laugh at him too. Jayden spends tons of time trying to entertain her. And nobody else can get her to laugh as hard as he does. He will spin around or run away and back to her and she giggles every time. I think she likes when he spins best, she never gets tired of that.
Some days seem filled with endless noise because of fighting kids, and playing kids, and mess making, and tantrums, and teasing... Then I of course add to the din by yelling over them in a feeble, and misguided attempt to have peace in my house, or admittedly sometimes in exasperation because they dumped the gross raw meat filled kitchen garbage can in my bedroom or spread their lunch or something else all over the place, or said no and disobeyed me for the 100th time that day. Some day's I've considered checking myself in somewhere just to get some of my sanity back.
But all of the millions of joyful moments, bring back my sanity and lessen my frustration. What amazing personalities they have! And the older they get, the more of their qualities I see, and it is so fun to get to know them. They amaze me and I honestly don't know why the Lord gave them to me. I feel like the worst mother in the WORLD sometimes, and I feel so inadequate. I don't even have a fraction of the patience a mother should have, and I can be very immature. I should be a SO much better person by now. I fail at pretty much everything to some degree, and I just hope that the Lord covers for my mistakes. All I want is to give them a desire to be obedient and do good things. And a realization that the gospel and all of the good things that it brings are the way to happiness. And of course I want them to KNOW that I LOVE them ENDLESSLY, no matter what. Jayden got in trouble the other day and he was so sad. He looked at me a few minutes later and asked "Do you still love me?" (He as also said "you don't like me anymore?" He's said things like that several times lately and I wonder, am I too disapproving, or too harsh? Do I harm their self esteem irreparably? Sometimes I feel like I am stomping them into submission rather than guiding them gently onto the path of safety and righteousness. I decide over and over that I am going to do better, but find myself falling into the same patterns. They are SUCH AMAZING kids and I want them to KNOW IT!
Wow! I've taken a whiney turn!! This entry started out so light and silly!! It's when I think of how incredible they are that I start feeling like I am not good enough to give them what they need. I guess all I can do is strive to do my best and hope for the Lord to pick up the MILES of slack right? I am so thankful for my three angels. They inspire me and make life so much more meaningful...not to mention SO much more fun! I don't know what I did to entertain myself before.